Are you the type that loves to have naughty things done to your bum? Maybe you enjoy the fine art of caning. Does the mere thought of bending over a desk, bum high in the air waiting for that first lovely sting of pain bring joy to your nether regions? I bet you just can’t wait to run to the mirror just to take a peek at your nice, new, red marks of pain and joy. That’s right; slowly run your fingers over each and every angry welt. The first touch after your beating takes your breath away and you smile at the memory of each painful lash. You lightly reach down and fondle your now limp dick hoping to rekindle the hot flame for just one more orgasm. But wait; no one told you that you could wank on that tiny dick again! Tell me; just what do you think you’ve done to deserve such pleasure? I’m waiting, still waiting. Oh hell are you going to take all damn night? Oh did I hurt your little feelings? HAHA Dip shit do you really think I care one way or the other how much my words sting? You are nothing more then a play thing to me. I amuse myself at your expense, nothing more, and nothing less.

Alright I can just picture you sitting there, scratching your head, thinking “what about the other fun things”. You know that’s a good question, and one I might answer for you someday. I’ll think about it. In the mean time just keep the lube ready for action; never know…

The amazing Pecker! That’s right folks you heard me right; the amazing pecker. See Mr. Pecker stand at attention with the slightest breeze! It can stand, it can thrust, hell it can poke, it can shoot, and it can fornicate! Heck there is not much that Mr. Pecker can’t do in this world; I tell you true. Please don’t get Mr.Pecker confused with Little Dick That Thought It Could; they are nothing a like. Little Dick is just another one of those useless cocks that just never did make the grade. Can’t please a women; can’t even fit the thing in a glory hole because you guessed it; it’s to damn short. You know you can’t even take Little Dick for a ride because the damn cock just keeps slipping out of the woman’s hole. Another problem Little Dick has is finding a condom to fit. They just don’t make any for small cocks. I guess they figure why the hell bother; chances are the tiny cock will slip out before it’s goo spews.

Now let’s take a moment to compare Mr. Pecker with Little Dick. Mr. Pecker is so big he cast a shadow, Little dick cast no shadow but does appear every so often peeking out of the bush. Mr. Pecker plays well with others, Little Dick plays well with himself. Mr. Pecker takes a licking and keeps on thrusting, Little Dick can’t be found for a lick much less a thrust. So I guess it’s clear to see; all the ladies love Mr. Pecker and cry when they see Little Dick.

Well now my little loser the Queen thinks it’s time for all of you to do a little spring cleaning. I know all of you piss heads have been neglecting your over all pecker hygiene. Let’s face it, it’s time to trim the bush and buff the cock. Face it you might have a better chance of getting someone to pay attention to that useless dick if you improve the over all look. Also if you trim that hairy thatch that tiny wiener might look a little bigger. So here’s what the Queen wants you to do to improve the over all look of that poor excuse of a ding a ling.

Okay dip shits repeat after me; I swear to trim my bush and polish my tiny dick at least once a week for my Lovely Queen. Alright if you said your cock pledge then let’s proceed. First off you will need to have these items ready to begin your task, something to trim with, a cloth, and a can of lemon or orange furniture polish “Pledge if you have this in your area”. Now to begin you will need to trim that bush in what ever manner you feel you can accomplish without cutting your little pecker off. Next clean all the trimmed hair away, and then perform your favorite hand shake on your cock to make it nice and hard, spray your dick with Pledge from base to tip, then slowly start buffing your cock from base to tip till it has a nice shine. Oh yes I know; that little dick now feels the need to cum, you want to shoot that load so bad now don’t you? Well tough shit moron the Queen didn’t give you permission to cum so if you spew your goo you had better be ready to lick every last drop up! Now if you managed to complete this task without jacking off you have proven you can follow instructions and your tiny Dick now has a nice shine and smells like citrus. Go out find a woman, see if you can get lucky, if you get her to sample your cock she will be most happy that you were thoughtful enough to trim the pecker and give it that nice clean smell. If you were one of the losers that couldn’t finish and had to cum; well at least it smells nice but doubt you will have any luck with the ladies. After all you have no self control so how long would you last between the sheets anyway. HAHA! LOSER!!!!

Do you ever feel the need to march to the tune of a different drummer? HAHA Dip shit if that’s your desire then you have come to the right place. Come on over and join the Queens Army and find out just how well I can whip you into shape. That’s right Morons you will be marching, jumping, crawling, any damn thing the Queen orders your stupid worthless ass to do you will be Johnny on the spot ready to serve. Yes Queen, WHAT’S THAT I CAN’T HEAR YOU! DON’T YOU TOUCH YOURSELF THERE; YOU HAVEN’T EARNED THE RIGHT TO DO SO YET. I WILL TELL YOU WHEN AND HOW MUCH YOU CAN STROKE THAT COCK. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? Alright then prove to me you can listen and follow the orders I give you. Down on the floor, DON’T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY, I SAID DOWN ON THE FLOOR! Now pisshead give me 40 push ups right now. Feeling the burn yet? Good. Now crawl your loser ass over to that wall on your left. That’s right; now stand in front of that hole in the wall. Drop your pants, take your limp dick and make it nice and hard, that’s right, now stick it in the hole. You dare to ask your Queen what that thick goo is you are pumping your poor excuse of a pecker in. Well dipshit I will be happy to answer that one for you after a few more pumps in the hole. Oooooh sounds like lonesome loser is ready to cum. Was that a good wall fuck sugar pie? Well now that you’ve had a nice time fucking the wall I will tell you what you just made love to. Peanut Butter; that’s right Johnny on the spot, you will now be known as my Peanut Butter Fucker. HAHA! Maybe with a little more work you can work your way up to a nice glory hole. But not yet; no you still need to work on fucking the Peanut Butter shit head. HAHA!

I beg your pardon I never promised you a rose garden, but I will give you thorns.HAHA! Have you ever given any thought to the other wonderful uses of a rose garden? Well the Queen has and I think perhaps I might just be in the mood to share them with you. So my little losers, sit back, relax, close your eyes and try to envision a dark night, just you, me and the lovely red roses. There’s a chill in the air, you have goose bumps on your skin, yet your skin feels alive with heat. You stand before your beautiful Queen, eager to please, all I have to do is give the order and you will obey. My creamy white skin glows in the dark night, you can’t help but to gaze into my hypnotic eyes; you know you are mine. I allow you to stand there for a bit taking in all my glory, you see my wicked smile. You feel fear at first, yet you cannot leave for you know to leave would mean you would never get to experience the glorious rapture to come. I tell you to disrobe, then to go deep into the garden and bring me back 30 red roses, each with long stems all with the thorns. Once you have acquired the roses with thorns you kneel before your Queen waiting for your next order. I tell you to lay all but two of the roses with thorns down a few feet a part in a straight line. You are curious why I would tell you to do this but yet know better then to ever question your Queen. Now I tell you to place one of the two roses I told you to keep in your mouth. Now get on your hands and knees and slowly crawl down that path of roses and thorns. You start to crawl, the thorns are piercing your hands, knees, legs and feet, each prick stings and burns, yet you keep crawling. Suddenly you feel a hot stinging pain on your butt cheeks and realize your Queen is whipping you with the one rose she kept. Once you’ve made it to the end of the rose/thorn path I tell you to gather up all the roses you just crawled over and lay them in a larger pile. Now lie on top of the roses and thorns, roll over, and wiggle on your stomach. You feel stabbing hot pain, 100’s of needles digging into your tender cock flesh, yet you are getting more and more aroused. And with that arousal comes more pain while that pecker grows. I now stand over you, whipping you with the one rose I kept, ordering you to pump your hips, that’s right act like you are humping a women, faster! You raise your hips; keep pumping that worthless cock into the bed of roses. Ooooooh you scream, my Queen, my Queen, and then nothing but sweet ecstasy. While you lay there shaking with pleasure you feel a tearing pain across your back. Then you hear your Queens wicked laughter telling your worthless ass to get up, you’re not done yet. You see that mess you made in those lovely red roses? Get on your hands and knees and lick that cum off each and every petal, every stem, and yes every thorn! Now you have served your purpose for the evening, you may crawl over to your clothes and leave the way you came. I will linger here and just sit and laugh for a bit at the picture of you fucking those thorns. HAHA! THE END!

See the pleasure you can experience if you go over to the dark side and call your Queen. Don’t get use to hot stories like that my sorry losers; that one was just to show you what wonderful sick things go on in my lovely head. Sweet dreams. HAHA!

Are you the type of loser that can only get an Inflatable date? Does your date come to you by the postal system? Is she made of plastic or latex? Do you get off on that “new doll smell” strait out of the box? Well then you sad loser do I have the gal for you. Yes that’s right, I have the girl of your dreams just waiting for you to try out one of her nice tight holes. I can just see your sorry ass now reaching down with your fat fingers to rub back and fourth on that useless dick of yours. Just thinking about your dream girl gets you all revved up and ready for a good fuck; now doesn’t it LOSER? That’s ok piss head, every loser has to find some pleasure in there sorry lives; even you. I tell you what though; I do believe I can help you bring a little more excitement to your latex love life. How you ask? Well dip shit it’s really quite simple. You just pick of the phone “it’s that thing that rings and someone is on the other end”, call me, and either bring your own latex love date or hell you can use the hot dream date I talked about above. After all just look at her; she’s hot admit it. All the right holes can move most any direction, now all you need is me to tell you how to fuck your dream date. So if you would like to improve your latex love life; call the Queen. Go on give it a try, step over to the dark side, I wont bite; if I do you wont mind it at all.

Well now it would seem that you silly twits are not the only ones that love to read the warped writings of the Queen. I have now been featured on www.kinkyphonegirls.com for one of the eloquent post I wrote. So you see I will have a much larger following of losers in need of someone as wise and wicked as the Queen to lead them to the pleasure they desire.

Have you ever been just a wanking away on that little dick, feeling O so good, almost there, and then your hand cramps, Oh No! This can’t be happening, I’m feeling so good, my fat willy is ready to explode! Please my faithful hand don’t give out on me now. Just a few more wanks to glory. PLEASE!

Oh dear the man says; what should I do? The man exclaims I know, go see my doctor he will know what’s wrong with old faithful. So the man goes to the doctor and what does he say; sir you are suffering from carpal wanker syndrome. What the man says? I believe you are confused isn’t that suppose to be carpal syndrome a condition for people that type too much? No the doctor says; this is another condition that effects those that wank too much. You see, if you wank to much, you tend to run the risk of wearing down the joint in your wrist so there for your wanking hand as time goes by will not be able to wank with such wonderful gusto. You will have to try and give that hand time to heal and use your left hand to wank. But no doctor that will not work! You see, I tried, but try and try as I may my left hand just couldn’t keep the same pace as my faithful right hand has all these years. The man says with dismay; I cannot get the speed and consistency that I need to fulfill my joyous explosion of ecstasy. Well the doctor stands there scratching his head, and then he says I have one other idea to offer you. What the man says to the doctor I will try anything please, please tell me. The doctor looks at the man and says; go buy yourself a fleshlight, it feels like a real pussy, or so I’ve been told. And best of all the doctor says; they come with different size holes. Yes, I’m telling you the truth, you can get one to feel like anal or you can get one to feel like a pussy, the choice is up to you. Now young man go fourth and wank to your hearts desire with your new fleshlight which can be used with either you left or right hand. So there for you can be a lefty and have a good wank! Enjoy.

I can see before you call that your pecker is too small! That’s right piss heads bet you didn’t know that the Queen is also clairvoyant. I can say with up most confidence that most of you have what only can be termed as “less then adequate equipment”. I can also say that most of you “if not all” don’t even have the brain cells to be able to notice that; “The women you are with are not enjoying that miniature cock”. Do you ever notice when you pull out your itty bitty dick that maybe she has a look of shock? Do you know why she has that look of shock on her face? In answer to that, this is what’s going on in your head right now; “we are experiencing technical difficulties due to the realization that you do have a small pecker” . Well dipshit had enough time yet to get that brain back on track? Well then let’s continue. I will try to explain for the 100^th time that a small cock is only pleasing to the moron that it’s dangling from. That tiny dick has been your pride and joy since the first day you discovered you could wank and pull on it and get that feel good feeling you now know and love. When you try to poke a women with it “yes I said poke because half the time you miss the hole”, she is wondering when you will be done. Why she is wondering when it will be over? The reason is; IF SHE’S NOT FEELING PAIN OR PLEASURE THEN WHY BOTHER! That’s right; she’s thinking how in the hell did I end up with a small dick, useless pecker head AGAIN! Do you have any idea how big of a let down it is for a women to find out that once again she is going to be in for another disappointing night? No, that’s the problem with you morons; you are always thinking about your useless pride and joy. So tell me what have you learned from my words of wisdom? Do you now know you are the only one that enjoys the little pecker that thought it could, a women doesn’t want what little you have to offer nor need it, so now you know; keep that damn small thing to yourselves! End of lesson one, do let me know if you need lesson 2.

Ok all my little sissy bitches gather around because the Queen has another story for all of you. Once upon a time there lived a trailer park slut, who sat on her ass by day, and fucked by night, and never gets paid. She has a beau, a beau that never pays, alas she finds herself in desperate need of money so she thinks I’ll do cam! So she huffs and she puffs and sucks on her beau’s pecker till she talks him into fucking her for money on cam! But sad to say, she forgot one thing. To make money fucking on cam she has to show up on cam to make the money. She’s such a dip shit that she doesn’t even realize that she is suppose to link her site to her cam show just in case she ever does decide to put one on. So far all the dear twit has managed to do is put up a blog just so she can talk to herself. And in her delusional world she actually thinks she had some trusted friends to remove. Now I tell you, isn’t that just the saddest damn story you’ve ever heard? The End